Paper Dragon

One more vid from today, this one on Paper Dragon. Who would have preferred a longer ass shot? Damn camera man rock. Let me know, I can make it happen.

Decent Day

Woh, today wasn't too bad at the tram. First a reading group on John Perry, then office hours, then tramway. Warmed up, did Paper Dragon (V10), did some spotting, sent Danimal (V10), quickly climbed Boardwalk (V10, since no one does it!), then got Soul of Darkness (V10). Like I said, woh. The only bad part was that I missed the high heels climbing competition at Thresh Hold, boo hoo. But the real thing to cry about this the amount of philosophy that won't read itself tonight. It's going to be up late with me.

My Hands

My hands just love to split these days. Should I wear a glove full of vaseline like Curley from Of Mice and Men? What does it take to keep this from happening? Ow - it hurts!

Thinking about my plans for tomorrow, I've got a rather pedestrian day ahead of me. I'll do laundry, clean up, cook some awesome banana pancakes, and read philosophy. How funny! Reading philosophy is something that is so commonplace I work it in around laundry and taking out the trash. This isn't right - grad school is an abomination.

Dinosaurs

On the way back form the Tram today, Jake and I stopped by those awesome dinosaurs in Cabazon. What an amazing piece of americana. If only we could have climbed them, one of my few regrets in life. They are building an entire dinosaur park here, to be open in a month! We spoke with Gary (that's right, THE Gary Kanter), and he offered to give us a private tour of the grounds next time we were in the area. We could be some of the first people to view the latest dinosaurs. What an honor.

Who the hell builds concrete dinosaurs in the middle of the desert. And then who turns these dinosaurs into a creationist museum? There are supposed to be frescoes inside of Dinny, you know, the brontasauras, but what could these look like? Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden with a triceratops? Frescoes? How European.

Get this, those frescoes cover the wall of a gift shop inside the brontasauras, and they used to put on puppet shows. That's awesome. All I've got to say is: Primordial soup, to the zoo, to you, is evolution true? Contend with that Mr. Scientist.

What the Hell

What the hell is that! What the hell is that? It's 'Alan'. How funny to notice the typo, four years after the fact. Thanks Jake, for bringing up these painful memories.

Unicycle

I can't ride a unicycle. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Super Nova

Afternoon sessions can't be beat. Work, write, read, wait...then climb! Jupiter Boulders today, got this sexy little number in a couple of goes. You can't see the bottom of the climb, or my torn tips, or the wind, so a little bit of the mood is lost. I need a camera man. And while I'm at it, perhaps a video camera. This little point a shoot leaves a little to be desired.

This may have been the last Jupe day because of the weather. Too hot too soon, since I've still got a project that needs some sending. I got a highpoint on it today, but torn tips and twilight held me at bay. Looks like there are some downsides to the afternoon session.

Hit in Head with Snowball

My directoral debut. You can tell I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, either on the climb or in front of the mixing board. The clip is fairly self explanatory, but I think Joe summed it up pretty well: "That's the best thing you could have done right there Jake. You could have spotted him, you could have given him beta, but no, you did that. God bless you Jake, god bless."

Yosemite

After NorCal I spent twelve hours in the R-Side before leaving again to Yosemite. Ah, my fingers were still recovering from splitting four pads at the tram earlier this week. Got in Friday night and stayed with this strapping ranger. Ladies, from what I hear he's free. Let me know if you want his number. Who can resist a man in uniform?

There was a big crew, and we didn't stray too far from the beaten path. John, Shannon, and Casey were all present for Shannon's birthday - she turns 30! Wooo! We partayed at Ranger Rave '08 in federal employee housing. Nothing puts a damper on festivities like having two cop cars parked on your street.

Climbing wise, the trip was a little...eh. I opened up a pad in the first hour, and tape helped make Thriller nearly impossible. Not that things would have been otherwise without it. I flashed the Force (V9), a sexy little climb next door. To be fair, I'd tried it once a few years ago, but come on, that doesn't count, does it? The next day was the next day, so we weren't quite to spunky. Justin and I had an epic contiguous pair of sends on the King Cobra Sit Start (V9), a climb that was much harder than it should have been.

Yosemite is 7 hours away, so I don't think I'll be making that commute again soon. Or course it was worth it, both to see old friends and to celebrate Shannon's 30th. Everyone let her know horah!

Ferrari the Jerk

I forgot about this. Last weekend up at Tramway this bastard in the Ferrari took up two spaces. How expensive does your car have to be in order for you to feel justified in sitting double? The BMW in the next space over didn't feel like he had the right. The socialist in me didn't like the hierarchy, so I took back one of the spaces. The parking lot security guard loved what we were doing, and gave us moral support in a maternal kind of way. Sure, there were other spots, but I wanted that one. What a jerk. Him or me?

I was up at the tram on Monday as well for a late night session. I got back to the upper tram station at 9:00, and no one told me this, but the trams only run every forty-five minutes once it gets dark. I was bored for the whole time as the workers cleaned up the place, sitting for the last ten minutes in darkness after they turned off the light. The gift shop was closed - the bar was closed. It was it miserable, so don't miss that 9:00 tram next time you do some headlamp night bouldering.

Surprises

I've never been a fan of surprises, they seem to typically turn out for the worse. I tried something new once, and it only brought displeasure and heartache. I still can't stand the taste of ginger. I just received some surprises from two friends, one of which I've known for years, the other I've known of for years.

One friend was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Aren't we always too young to be diagnosed with degenerative diseases? Another lost his foot in a work related accident. Luckily he sent his project the week before, but this certainly shouldn't be the cost.

I haven't used names in case someone would prefer that this information weren't well known, but my heart goes out to both of you. We climbers need to look out for each other.

Sacramento

I'm in NorCal for a few days to attend my little sister's graduation. She is now Cassandra Moore, AS. Does anyone put an Associates of Science degree after their name? Has anyone heard of an Associates of Science degree? Eerie. But well done to Cassie, she's got an internship lined up with the DA in Stockton as a paralegal. She used to be a badass climber you know, on the US team for two years around the year 2000. Doesn't it seem like the year 2000 is still in the future?

Cassie and I spent some time in Sacramento yesterday, touring the capital and the Crocker Art Museum. It had some awesome stuff, check out Bush made out of ceramic skulls and ears. It was one of the better pieces of the modern collection there. The older paintings were boring. They have a huge Edwin Deakin exhibit going on - yawn. I'm just not a fan of realism in my landscape paintings. I find them to be like a photo, but not as good.

Tramway

A new highball problem at the Tram, an FA by Aaron, our sled goddess from the previous post. It would be only 5.10a in Yosemite, but what does that make it here, in SoCal, for boulderers? I heard someone suggest V4. Not so sure about that.

[Correction]: I assumed Aron had two 'A's in his name, like me, because I thought he was cool. I was wrong, but he does bring up a good point. The slab would be 5.8, not 5.10a. I mis-spoke, since 10a's are I'm-glad-I-have-a-rope hard, and this guy wasn't.

Bouldering, Sledding, Jumping

I was mocked for wearing a suit to get my driver's license photo. My reasoning, that authority figures see your ID, and no matter how scuzzy you look at the moment, if you've got a suit in your photo you can't be all bad. Today it paid off, and I got out of a ticket for having both Jake and Shira in the passenger seat of my car. When the cop asked me if I knew why I'd been pulled over, I said no, and felt like a kid covered in crumbs being asked where the cookies went. I love transparent lies. Seriously though, that suit is paying for itself.

Then some climbing. Bouldering at the Tram. I got the moves on Devil's Dance (V12) and worked Black Flame (V11). The highlight of the day was a sledding finale. This video is Aaron, the speedy of the bunch. Eventually my clothes came off, but I don't think youtube is ready for that video. I take up a lot of bandwidth, being a stud/stallion and all.

Then a physics partay, where I jumped off the second story of the house into the pool. Sober. It's how I roll.

Sites

My dad was down for a few days, so here's a photo of him being badass in his old age. Taken with my small camera that is apparently awesome in the J-Tree sunset. That's one hell of a sunset. I decided to begin shooting instructional how-to photos. Here's the way you abseil.

A new quarter dawns, and with it new methods of procrastination. I had to pass these on:

Robot Girlfriend: So strange, this dude's robot girlfriend got him to go to church and stop watching porn. His parents were skeptical at first, but after seeing the positive changes...I think this is the answer to all of life's problems.

Stuff White People Like: I hate being pigeon holed, but check out he entry for grad school. Also, white people like 80s night because that was the last time popular culture wasn't infused with all that black nonsense.

China China China

I has come to my attention through the dark allies and back streets of the climbing underground that there is a new video of climbing in Yangshuo. Check it here, sweet spot #16. See all those falls on the Moon Hill Arch in the beginning of the short film? Yea, those are all on my beloved Sea of Tranquility. I'm glad those bastards took some whippers before supplanting my baby with a new hardest climb in China.

In more China news, there is an article on my trip in the newest Urban Climber. A feature article, a cover article, with lots of awesome photos of me and everything. Above you may find Shannon inflating her ego by way of narrative, a photo robbed from John, thanks doll face.

I'm Boring

I've been so boring recently, I'm tired of me. My car suffered a slight mechanical malfunction - the radiator broke. The headlights, hood, and bumper also broke at the same time. What are the odds of that? Want to see a disgusting photo, then take a look. My once mighty steed, down to this.

Funny enough, I make a fair bit of money in the process. The accident served to draw all of the equity out of the car in one gulp, giving it to me in a check instead of slowly depreciating over time. Not a bad deal, but I still want a car that runs. Luckily my rental has XM radio, and the all Michael Jackson station has been on non-stop for two weeks now.

I've also got some images here of The Great Couch Lift. Jake's new futon was too large to go up the stairs, so we hoisted it up the side of the building. Three stories was nothing, even with that damn metal frame. The whole project took just an hour, so check those skillz. Anyone need a furniture lift, just come talk to me. I'll make it happen.

Seriously though, I really do feel boring. I need to get out of this country for a while. Alan wasn't made for staying in the same place this long. It's been over three months since I crossed the border. Help.