February 05, 2008

Molesting Wax

I'd never really thought about it before, but wax museums let you molest anyone you want, dead or alive. My goal was to make out with Madam Curie, I always thought she would be all hot an skinny because of the radiation poisoning, but this place wasn't nearly that classy. I made due.

Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum in Las Vegas, the place where dreams come true that you never knew you had. Like snorting coke with James Brown, or giving Larry King a wet willy. Who knew a spitty finger in the ear could still keep one's interest, I thought they had gone the way of Zubaz, fun to reminisce about but good for little else.

I towered over Prince doing the opening scene from the official 1999 video, replacing purple with kick. And, as you have already seen, I twitched Benjie's little nips, that naughty diplomat/inventor/sex machine.

Who knew such wonders awaited at a wax museum? Did I desire such things before I entered, or did the place stir up secret passions that have always dwelt within? Perhaps we shall never know.

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