Dementor

I refer you to my other half for comments.

The Word Says It All

Just watch the video. My commentary pretty much sums up my thoughts on bouldering, this quarter, and life in general.

Regeneration!

This is the hardest problem I've ever done on a boulder, my Yabo Roof, if you will. The journey started way back in March, but I've always cared more about the destination, so no more details on that. Suffice it to say that this climb has done its damnest to thwart my ego - good thing it's quite resilient.

Dave Struthers put up this climb in 2001, back when the Mandala was cutting edge. It was one of the hardest climbs in the country at the time, although his ascent didn't get the press it deserves. The moves are technical and body position is paramount - look how I crawl up this rock in the video. Having learned my lesson on Thursday, I set up the camera before my first try, and luckily one go is all it took. The season ends next week with the storm and my fingers ended when I topped out with holes, so one go was all I had.

This caps a productive season up at Black Mountain. I've completed most of the established hard climbs, and the era of FAs can begin. But no! The snow! My ambitious will have to wait for the Spring. Perhaps this is for the best, sometimes a forced hiatus is fitting.

Grades, Grades, Grades

I heart this photo, Tour de France (v7) at Black Mountain, 80s style. People have been climbing up there for such a long time - lots of history - it really makes the area magical. With any boulder, you never know if you're doing something new or doing something an old man ticked off years ago, without a pad. I keep waiting for the 80s to call and ask for their FAs back.

Today was far too short - I really can't stand this whole dark-at-five thing. I think we should have a lunar calendar. Would that even fix things? I don't understand. I quickly did a direct start to Buzz Saw at Black, starting on the waist high crimps behind the tree. Who knows how hard it is, probably about v10, like everything else. Does v11 even exist, or do they just jump from 10 to 12?

Then Amna and I headed over to the far side of the mountain. We split up for a bit, which seemed to work well since she sent Center Visor (v6) and I got Ex-Patriot (v10) while apart. We finished the day around Bang-On with back-to-back ascents of Adamantium Sit (v9) and Round Boulders Arete (V4). Btw, Adamantium sit is not the "Mandala of Black Mountain," as someone's 8a says, but actually kind of sucks in a sharp-owh kind of way. I also fondled Bang-On a bit, but no dice with that first move - hard hard.

I hate to say this, but I hate grade inflation even more. SoCal climbers can't rate boulder problems. I'm losing faith. Ex-Patriot is not a soft v12, but rather a mid-range v10. Adamantium is far from v11. When doing an FA, take a grade off of what you think it is, since you know future climbers will find better beta, have cleaner holds, be more motivated. End of story.

[UPDATE]: My original post was too mean and unjustly singled out one individual - I must have been on the rag or something. I abstracted and cleaned it up with a broom, so while not spotless, it looks nicer than before.

The Tulip Odyssey

For every good day of climbing, there are always a couple of shitty ones. Last week I suffered one of those. I fell on the top of Regeneration (v12) at Black, one of the hardest rock climbs in the history of ever. Later that day I did Tulip, only to later be told that I started one move into the problem. Similarly, Dave fell on the topout of the Tour de France Sit (v10) twice.

It was a day of misery depression, we both felt like hollow shells of men, and I only now got the confidence to discuss the issues. I got Tulip my next day on it, Dave sent Tour his next day, and all is well in Alan's world.

[OBSCURE UPDATE]: The trailer for Rampage shows Sharma on the Tulip for about 2 seconds at the 25 mark.

The Tulip

I have always accused arguments from intelligent design of succumbing to confirmation bias, so as proof there is no god, I give you the Tulip (v10), a great climb marred only by the fact that it is two feet off the ground. If there were a god, he would have made this boulder problem more aesthetic.

Sharma got the FA in the old Rampage video, calling it v10. Since then a hold has broken in the middle (listen for the BAH!), changing the beta and making it harder. Because it's such a damn low traverse and get's sun all day, it rarely sees the repeat. I think this is the second post-break ascent, the first was done by Tye Landman who called it v11 on his 8a with the comment "hard." Alright kids, let's be fair though - he also called Ubiquitous v11, which is not only wrong, but dreadfully so.

I've considered it a v11 for a while, but today it felt easy, so I feel a little guilty with the upgrade. I'll punt on this one - v10 for now, and perhaps there will be a revision in the future.

Tour de France Sit

While you turds were recovering from Halloween parties, sitting at home watching teevee in your underwear, I was recovering up at the mountains, climbing rocks. Sunday was the first cold and blustery day of the season, and lord knows I like it cold and blustery. Black Mountain was living in the clouds...

After warming up on a bunch of obscure problems I've always wanted to get on, I surprised myself with a quick ascent of Dark Horse (V10). It was the climb in the old Rampage video that some British stole the FA on, beating out Obi and Chris. Two of the most amazing moves you'll ever do.

Then I headed up to the Tour de France boulder, and here's a shitty video of my send from the sit. Garrett and someone else (Alex?) put up the sit this summer and called it v12. For some reason, they started on two horrible holds with their backs in the dirt. It look heinous (does this word still exist?). The climb is much easier if you use the good hold a foot to the right. Is that cheating, using the good holds? I say v10 - no more, no less.

The movements are phenomenal - check out that huge drop knee in the beginning. I know, I know, the quality is horrendous. But I was by myself in the eye of the storm. It was cold and I didn't care. If it makes it any better, here is a super rad bonus video!

Also, quick, check out Joe Kinder's blog before the effect is lost! Reading about the smashed bolts last night, at the bottom I saw the entry "Whaddup," for reelz! I thought it was a comment on his blog from someone making fun of his wigger-isms. But nope, it was Joe Kinder making fun of himself, although indirectly and unconsciously. Funnier that way, in a Palinesque sort of way.

I'll get some Halloween photos up I hope. I am was Sparticus! I'll just leave you with a photo of Nick, a cute little Canadian mountie. There's got to be a gay joke in there somewhere, but where? Help me out here.

Plane Wreck

Check out the remains of this plane up at Black Mountain. There are all these chunks of melted aluminum scattered on the ground around it - looks like something out of Terminator 2. Are they all going to pool together and morph into a killing machine from the future? I'm safe, if it were going to happen, the time was decades ago.

What else though? Got that thang Smackdown (v9) at the Boulder Basin. Apparently people stack pads on this one to reach the first hold, ha! It's a jump start, otherwise it's like, hell, v3. I guess it depends on how many pads you stack though. No no no, you better be jumping your ass up there or you are a big phat phony. Still, one of the best at the mountain.

Got a few other little gems. The sit to Tour de France (v?) just went this summer. It felt a little like v10, but I was using holds without chalk. Ah, the reason I haven't worked it before - lack of a clear line.

Velvet Revolver

More movies, coming at you. All the beta that's fit to show for Velvet Revolver (v9) at the Black. But the mystery foot that get's cut off? You'll have to figure that one out for yourself. I'd love to have a little clip of Joe the Cameraman sending this rig, but alas, another day and another time.

I'm sick of this shitty camera, it's time to upgrade soon. Donations? Anyone? For a good cause? Ah yes, the tragedy of the commons. Miss Amna Shiekh has denied me the use of hers, something about not trusting me with a breakable physical object. I suppose she is quite intelligent then, isn't she? That's probably why her time these days is all spent applying for grad school, a miserable process, just follow the link.

All I've got to say is that I miss my training buddy!

Return to Black Mountain

First day back to the Blacky after what, a four month hiatus? Time has not been kind to me. I walked around, check up on my old rocky friends, which are doing just fine, and even climbed some blocs! Let me put it on the record here, v8 is hard. It really is.

In this video (with fancy editing!) one can witness Alan Moore on Ubiquitous, a newish v9 in the campground. Looks like I got the name wrong in the movie film. It was originally rated v12 but the FA dude, but it's looking like that was a few grades off. Oopsie. The lesson: always take a grade or two off of new problems you FA since others will always find an easier way up those holds.

Night Bouldering Returns

Night bouldering at the Jupiter boulders today, with Nic (complain-a-thon, damn) and Dom. I tweaked my knee a little on a heel-hook thing, but no bother, I'm good for it. Getting back into shape, getting cool enough to climb hard, things are going well.

Question though. Why does 5.10 makes shoes with a heel that is nothing like the shape of a human foot? And why do they make shoes (V10, Dragon, Jet7) that only get good right before they wear out? You have a shitty shoe for a month, it finally gets broken in, then a week later you have a hole.

On the same note, what is this? Seriously Urban Climber? That's like a photo I would take, except it is hasn't been deleted from my computer because it sucks. There is nothing good about it. Should I explain why? The body position isn't aesthetic, she is on a V0, her cuffs look all disheveled, she needs a conditioner that gives her hair body, and what's that in her pocket? A copy of Teevee Guide? Seriously?

My Car Returns

My Car has returned! Found a mile away, no computer, lacking love, but safe and working. They took my faceplate, but not the stereo. My crashpad, but not my climbing shoes. My broker speakers, but not my new ones. I am a little glad thieves ore stupid. If they were smart we would all be screwed. My car has beer so violated! No paint on the font half, no A/C, no stereo, leaks coolant. what has happened?

Now I play catchup with the work, making up for a few days of depression/apathy and a few days without a computed. I made it up to the rocks twice to lift my spirits. One day at the Tran I sent Harry Pothead (V8) and Angus (V9) second go, onsighted Soul Caliber (V9), and redpointed Year of the Cat (V10). Black Mountain booted me off Regeneration a bunch as well. I fell of the top, I could feel the skin peeling off my finger as it happened. There we go, another bloody hole in my tip.

But I finally came to terms with the theft, so I think I'll be ok now. One hell of a week.

[UPDATE] I wrote this post on my new tablet notebook using the handwriting recognition software. Look how far technology has come!

Weekend

Lots of news, no good photos. So Saturday was spent up at Black Mountain, working stuffs and falling, falling, falling. I cleaned off an ultra classic, but after 20 minutes of brushing I decided it needed 20 minutes more. I gave up, so that gem is open for all. And let me tell you, what a gem it is.

Isn't it annoying how there aren't names for so many great problems at Black Mountain? I did this thing behind NRA, in that cluster of boulders with four lines. You know, the one on the far left going out the steep arete. I'm sure it's been climbed before, but who knows who. I'm calling it Champagne Arete (V9) after the bottle Dave and I were drinking to make our tips hurts less. Let's see if it catches on.

Today I went dirt bike riding. I've only been once before, in high school, for 30 seconds. Then I hit a fence and broke off the clutch lever, and my friend's mom wouldn't let me on again. Boo. Finished up the day with a Thresh Hold staff partay at a bowling ally. Like all good bowling ally adventures, it ended with us getting kicked out.

Devil's Dance

Check that out, the first V12. Damn it was cold - temps couldn't have been better. Oh the route climber in me loves the long problems. What a beast!

Black Mountain

First day this season at Black Mountain, my beloved Tram is burning up in fires. There was a great group - was that too generous - maybe just a mediocre group. Dave took me on the Boulder Basin highball circuit for the warm up, woh. Poor Buzz Saw (V10) had to withstand the triple send from Ian, Aaron, and myself. I almost felt bad for it, but I've never been much for anthropomorphism. Here is a low quality video, way to shitty to get an embed.

Then Dave and I took off to the summit as Jake and Shira read the The Hobbit. We spent a bit figuring out Cracker Boy (B1) before heading over to some V10 crack.

All day I had to put up with Dave's old school grades. No V's - never. All he would give me were B0-B3, the old SoCal bouldering system. B0's are easy, B1's are harder, B3's have only been climbed once, and B2's are everything else. WTF?

We finished up the day with champaign at the OK Corral. Long drive back, then pizza, now philosophy. I don't like philosophy, it is to dependent on me. Why can't it write and read itself?

Paper Dragon

One more vid from today, this one on Paper Dragon. Who would have preferred a longer ass shot? Damn camera man rock. Let me know, I can make it happen.

Decent Day

Woh, today wasn't too bad at the tram. First a reading group on John Perry, then office hours, then tramway. Warmed up, did Paper Dragon (V10), did some spotting, sent Danimal (V10), quickly climbed Boardwalk (V10, since no one does it!), then got Soul of Darkness (V10). Like I said, woh. The only bad part was that I missed the high heels climbing competition at Thresh Hold, boo hoo. But the real thing to cry about this the amount of philosophy that won't read itself tonight. It's going to be up late with me.

Super Nova

Afternoon sessions can't be beat. Work, write, read, wait...then climb! Jupiter Boulders today, got this sexy little number in a couple of goes. You can't see the bottom of the climb, or my torn tips, or the wind, so a little bit of the mood is lost. I need a camera man. And while I'm at it, perhaps a video camera. This little point a shoot leaves a little to be desired.

This may have been the last Jupe day because of the weather. Too hot too soon, since I've still got a project that needs some sending. I got a highpoint on it today, but torn tips and twilight held me at bay. Looks like there are some downsides to the afternoon session.

Hit in Head with Snowball

My directoral debut. You can tell I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, either on the climb or in front of the mixing board. The clip is fairly self explanatory, but I think Joe summed it up pretty well: "That's the best thing you could have done right there Jake. You could have spotted him, you could have given him beta, but no, you did that. God bless you Jake, god bless."

Yosemite

After NorCal I spent twelve hours in the R-Side before leaving again to Yosemite. Ah, my fingers were still recovering from splitting four pads at the tram earlier this week. Got in Friday night and stayed with this strapping ranger. Ladies, from what I hear he's free. Let me know if you want his number. Who can resist a man in uniform?

There was a big crew, and we didn't stray too far from the beaten path. John, Shannon, and Casey were all present for Shannon's birthday - she turns 30! Wooo! We partayed at Ranger Rave '08 in federal employee housing. Nothing puts a damper on festivities like having two cop cars parked on your street.

Climbing wise, the trip was a little...eh. I opened up a pad in the first hour, and tape helped make Thriller nearly impossible. Not that things would have been otherwise without it. I flashed the Force (V9), a sexy little climb next door. To be fair, I'd tried it once a few years ago, but come on, that doesn't count, does it? The next day was the next day, so we weren't quite to spunky. Justin and I had an epic contiguous pair of sends on the King Cobra Sit Start (V9), a climb that was much harder than it should have been.

Yosemite is 7 hours away, so I don't think I'll be making that commute again soon. Or course it was worth it, both to see old friends and to celebrate Shannon's 30th. Everyone let her know horah!